Thursday, March 8, 2012

What Is Sexy?

What is sexy to you?  Is it a man in fine suit, or a woman in seductive lingerie?  Is there something sexy that isn't an appearance?  Like how someone talks, or things they do.  This month over at EdenFantasys, they are discussing what is sexy to you.  I have penned a piece for them discussing difficulties men have in feeling sexy themselves, and today I saw a piece by another gentleman on the SexIs part of the website where he discussed how he started to find himself sexy

I have no problem finding things sexy, my wife, lingerie, sex toys, bubble baths, champagne all hold a sexy connotation for me.  I have had problems finding myself sexy through the years.  Roland is the gentleman who penned the article about how he began to find himself sexy and I want to go through some of it, because a lot of it is stuff we men need to hear.  And for you ladies reading, it's a peek behind the curtain, now isn't it?

The first thing he discussed in what changed his image is getting fit and working out.  For years I was with him in laughing at people who went to the gym, calling them vain and narcissistic.  I find that I was wrong.  I started working out regularly last year because of some family health issues I wanted to avoid.  In just a few months there was a marked improvement in my physique and beyond that my energy level, my happiness and my sex drive, which was already in high gear.  When my body is healthy I find myself able to enjoy things more and worry less.  I don't know if it's the endorphins or what, but my outlook improves as well my physical appearance.  And S can't keep her hands off of me when I've been working out regularly!

He then talks about how success is sexy.  I've been successful in my job.  It wasn't a job I planned on having, but I've been good at it.  Now that I'm seeing where this road is leading, I find myself ready to move on.  He talks of how he got his priorities straight and plan for the future and now I'm doing the same.  I've been at the same job because a) I was a good at it and b) because it was safe for far too long.  It's time to push myself and really take my career by the horns, and I find that empowering.

The third he discusses is being positive.  This is something I've dealt with nearly my entire life.  You know how there are those people who are "too smart for their own good?"  Well, that's me.  I read something into everything, the inflection in the way someone says hello is something I notice.  And worry about.  For years I've let it drag me down and made me feel unsure of myself.  Over the past few years I've tried to move away from those thoughts.  Which in turn has made me happier and more positive.  And by surrounding myself with positive people, it draws others in.  Roland mentions this in his article and I have found that to be true as well.  The key for me is to remember this everyday and I do feel sexier.

The final point he makes in the article is to do it for yourself.  How many of us do things because of what other people are thinking?  It's the whole high school mentality repeating itself over and over.  In the last few years I have learned to care less about what other people think, but I still do care at least some of the time.  I would love to be able to blow them all off and not care what anyone besides S thought, but I'm not there yet.  But when you are doing something for you and not because of what someone else thinks you should do, it does feel empowering and that in of itself is sexy.

Are there other things that make me feel sexy?  You betcha.  But I believe for men reading this article can be a massive benefit to help jump start your sexy quotient.  But what do you find sexy, and what makes you feel sexy?  Leave comments and I'll do something as a follow-up soon.

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store
This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys.


  1. This blog is sexy.

    I'm going to make sure my hubby stops by after work and has a read, because all the things you suggest are what make men sexy. It's not "the" looks, it's about "caring" about the look = taking the time to look after yourself, not just to get a killer body we want to lick from head to toe, but saying "I matter and so does my health."

    Confidence is sexy, but too many men confuse confidence with arrogance. My husband is confident enough to walk into a dress shop, knowing my tastes and size, and help me select something. He doesn't stand around and twitch nervously in Victoria's Secret - he actually helps AND buys. He gets razed by his friends all the time about things like that. But while they are standing around in some guy's garage drinking beer, complaining about not getting any from their wives and watching the outdoor TV, my guy is at home getting his brains fucked out by his wife, who also happens to be wearing the stockings and high heels she knows he likes so much.

    What is sexy is a man who can ditch the "beer buddy" mentality and actual focus on making his partner feel incredible about herself. Keep putting a smile on her face by making love to her mind and self-esteem, and you might just find those Monday mornings are mixed blessings because you need to go to work to recover from the weekend at home.

    One of your best ever.

  2. One of the things I find sexy about my boyfriend, Mr. Big, is that he's so very much a mans man. His friends look up to him, literally (he's 6'6) and figuratively, people ask him for advice, and he's very much the alpha male type guy. While he's a very sexy man physically, and his voice is deep and husky, I think the non-physical sexiness turns me on more. I do my best to make sure he knows it too.

    Great post.

  3. GREAT GREAT GREAT post!! You make really good points that are valid for women as well.

    I'm going to second Andee that confidence is sexy. So is a sense of humor - make me laugh and be willing to laugh at yourself.

  4. Attitude is sexy. The way a man or a woman or man carries him- or herself can be very attractive. Confidence, eye contact, the way he or she walks, and for lack of a better term the sort of vibe he or she exudes all make a big difference.